Do you have a relative, friend or romantic partner who is very difficult to gel with? Do you often feel demeaned and controlled by them? If so, you might have some toxic people in your life. Toxic people need to be dealt differently for your own mental and emotional well-being. There are techniques you could use to take care of yourself and deal with such connections. Here are 7 tips which you could start implementing today.

• Move on without them: 

If anyone is being emotionally destructive and dictating towards you then stay away from that person: they are toxic. When you remove such toxic people from your surroundings, life becomes easier. If it is safe to completely cut ties with them, do so! Be strong and know when enough is enough. Letting go of toxic people do not necessarily mean you hate them it simply shows that you care about your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, any healthy relationship is reciprocal, there should be almost equal give and take, not where you keep on giving and giving. If you must keep connection with the toxic person, then follow the rest of the tips.

• Stop tolerating their toxic behavior as if it is okay:

If you are not aware enough then toxic people can use their destructive behavior to get preferential treatment because it seems easier to quiet them down than to deal with their grouchiness. But short-term ease equals long-term pain for you in a situation like this. Toxic people never change if their behavior gets rewarded constantly. Daily negativity and drama are not worth putting up with. If someone over the age of 21 fail to be a reliable and reasonable adult on a regular basis then speak up.

• Speak up!

Some people would do anything to meet their own needs. They might do anything from: cut in line, take money and property, bully, pass guilt etc. Do not accept this behavior. In most cases people tend to keep quiet until one person speaks up, so stand-up for yourself. Many toxic people use anger as means of getting things done in their own way. Some would respond to you abruptly and start speaking negatively about something dear to you. If you choose to respond to their moody behaviour, they might be surprised or outraged as you have crossed their behavioural territory. But speak up when you feel the need to, any away.

For instance, you might say:

• “I’ve noticed you seem angry.  Is something upsetting you?”
• “I think you look bored.  What I’m saying is unimportant to you?”
• “Your attitude is upsetting me right now.  Is this what you want?”

Statements like these can be disarming if someone is using their moody attitude as a means of social manipulation, and these statements can give an opportunity for you to try to help them if they are facing any actual serious problem. 

• Put your foot down.

Toxic people will try their last breath if not handled tactfully. They might attack your dignity and they might bring in others to mock you and even question your own truth by implementing doubts to what you know as true regards to any situation where both of you were involved. But bare-in-mind, that no one can take away your dignity unless you surrender it. It is always about finding and protecting your own boundaries. Those who are toxic, will try every means to pollute everyone around them. If you have tried to reason with them and they still are not changing their behaviour, then give them space and ignore them. You need to put your foot down and do what is best for your well-being and not always theirs!

• Do not take their toxic behaviour personally.

Some people feel guilty very easily, and toxic people always try to take the full advantage of this characteristic. They keep implying that you have done something wrong. They always try to hurt your confidence. So be mindful, and do not let this happen to you from now on. Always remember that there is a lot of freedom when you realize search nothing is personal. Toxic people behave negatively not just to you but to everyone in their surroundings. Even when the situations seem personal: it usually has nothing to do with you. Whatever they say and do and the opinions they give are based entirely on their own reflection. 

• Practice practical compassion.

Many a times, making sympathetic gestures towards toxic people who are depressed, distressed or going through a physical illness is okay. Some people genuinely need supportive people around them. But if you let those people to et away with almost anything then you are alluring them to cause more mayhem for future. They subconsciously start believing that their unfortunate circumstances will get them to more care and compassion from others and they keep on acting so. You cannot help anyone for everything they do because they have certain problems. There is a plethora of people who are going through extreme challenges and still they are not toxic to their surroundings. Genuine compassion needs to be given under set boundaries. 

• Take time for yourself.

If you have no choice but to live or work with a toxic person, then balance those times of interaction with enough alone time to unwind and recuperate. Being the rationale adult can be exhausting while also dealing with the moodiness of the toxic person. Again, understand that even people with real issues and clinical illnesses may not see through that you have needs as well. This means you can politely excuse yourself from them whenever you need to. Do not feel guilty to refrain interaction with such people. You deserve this time away to think peacefully for yourself. In case you are finding it difficult to keep up with the toxic people around you and need to take some expert guidance, feel free to contact a psychological counselling centre near you today. Always remember, you are important, and you matter!